Living Life Upside Up

Lately, I find myself procrastinating...........A LoT! It's like I've picked up a procrastination virus and it's infected my soul. I could pray for a cure. I could ask God to give me a motivation-shot.  However, like most viruses that attack us, there's really nothing you can do to magically treat this illness, other than a personal dose of "just-do-it" (whatever "it" is). A gulping swallow of self-control will also help  alleviate the symptoms. Praying for God to suddenly inspire me is a lot like asking God to make me more loving. Both require action. When it comes to love, I find the "feeling" comes once I start to do the loving thing. Same is undoubtedly true for motivation. I'll discover motivation when I make the choice to begin, to dig in my heels, to get after it...  Sigh. I think I am not alone in wishing for a magical pill...

Perhaps this whole issue is why I seem to be collecting quotes in my journal about self-control (aka: self discipline). These all seem to center around doing now to prevent tomorrow's regrets. Here's one of those: "Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most." Another seems to repeat what I've just said, "The best way to GAIN self-control is to practice it."  There's even a Dr. Seuss quote that has resonated with me (you know this one, as well as I): "You have brains in your head and feet in your shoes; you can steer yourself any direction you choose." Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.

The worst part of this war on procrastination is this realistic realization: there is a lazy and slothful spirit in my heart. The only way to win the war is to accumulate the proper ammunition, which is what some of those quotes become. Here's the best "bullet" of all from Romans 12:11: Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord...  God has his ways of pointing out just what we need, when we need it.

Then.......this. Yesterday I went for my usual morning walk. It does seem like when I'm out, in the clear morning air, my "spidey" senses are extra alert, and I hear the Lord a little more clearly. Anyway, I found a penny on the ground, upside down. Normally, I wouldn't waste the energy on a penny. Seriously. Not only is a penny not worth the effort it takes to bend down; it's definitely not worth stirring up my vertigo-scarred-brain. However, for some reason, I picked it up. There it was head-down in the dirt. As I stood up, turning the coin over, this thought crossed my mind. Now, before I give it to you, I want to clarify. I don't know if this was just a me-thought, or a God-thought, but either way, it doesn't really matter. Wherever it came from, it was worth reflecting and processing.

OK, here's what passed from one side of the brain to the other: Most people choose to live upside-down when they could be living upside-up.

What does that mean to me? By choice, I often opt to live a defeated life, head-down. Instead, I can choose to live right side up. For me that looks like making a choice to walk circumspectly and wisely; to follow after my Savior, to apply the truths of God's word that are proven; and to take steps that bring me closer to the Lord's heart... Living upside-up means I live with no regrets; I embrace life head on (even including the trials that come my way); and, I choose to enjoy the blessings that tend to be overshadowed by the negative.  Living upside-up means I hug my grand-treasures a little tighter; look for Kingdom opportunities in little minutes; smile brighter; give thanks more often; and choose boldness in spite of fear. Living upside-up makes room for what's important, what's healthy, what's right, and what's loving. Living upside-up prioritizes, simplifies, and magnifies Jesus. Living upside-up means there is no room for procrastination...

Oh, may I never be found
heads down...
May I always choose
to live
upside up! Amen.

Time Away with God...Always a Good Idea.

Retreats. Any kind. I relish them. I always know that when there's intentionality, God will show up. I was reminded of that in mid-May and, again, this past week.

There is a little island in the middle of Lake Pleasant, situated in the Adirondacks near Speculator, NY. It's owned by Camp of the Woods, but separate from the main camp. Each week of the summer season 72 girls, between the ages of nine and seventeen, sign up to attend. They have no cell phones, no internet, no outside "contact" for one whole week, other than speakers who are brought in and the food that is delivered via pontoon. A huge percentage of girls return every year. Another large percentage return to be counselors. I have lost count of how many times I have returned to camp to speak to these young ladies. I have not lost track of how it feels to step foot on the island. The minute my feet touch solid ground, there is a definite Presence. Amidst the squeals and giggles of girls having fun, there is that special "something"...correction, there is that special "Someone." I can't see Him, but I know He's there! As the girls are corraled outside of the chapel for their evening "vespers," they know it, too. I've never seen young women quiet so quickly, nor burst into sweet, sincere prayer as they begin to sing before entering the building, "Lord, prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and holy, tried and true..." They enter ready!  So, it's no wonder, that when moms and dads pick their girls up at 9:15 PM on Friday night, they comment on the difference they see in their daughters: always a better version of themselves! I find this to be true of any collective retreat, where the focus is on Jesus, His Words, and our application.

However, personally, I prefer the retreats where it's mostly me and Jesus. I need these times, deliberately set apart to meet with my Jesus, as well. When I get them, not as the speaker, but as the listener, God's Spirit always shows up and meets me...EVERY TIME. In May, I went with a friend on a "journaling retreat." While we debriefed together in the evenings, for the most part, we both individually took time that was alone with God.  I've enjoyed times like this before. It might be for a half day alone with the Lord; it might be for a whole day; it might be for several days. No matter the amount of time, I need them regularly. They are life-giving, life-changing, and spiritually renewing. By the end, I'm so filled up, I'm overflowing. Then, I get back into my normal routine, and I find myself wanting more. I have often wondered if that's just a taste of what Moses felt on the mountain when he and Jehovah met, God spoke, and Moses' face glowed so brightly he had to cover it with a veil. After a while, the glow diminished, and Moses longed for more quality God-time. Truth be told, my physical face has never glowed, but the face of my spirit has when I've been with Jesus. Or as the disciples on the road to Emmaus put it, "Didn't our hearts burn within us?" My heart has "glowed" with the burning of God's Presence speaking directly to me. Then, it diminishes...and I long for more.  Certainly, I get daily time with the Spirit of God in my quiet times. Certainly, He is faithful to speak to my soul. Yes, I am renewed on a regular morning-to-morning basis; BUT, there is NOTHING that compares to the retreating with purpose.

I love it when I hear God calling me by name, and whispering in my ear:

“Arise, my darling; My beautiful one, come away with me (SS 2:10)!"

May I encourage you to listen for His voice. He longs for you to get away, too, and hear his intimate voice speaking into your story...right where you are! He does for me; He will for you. You are Your beloved's, and His desire is FOR YOU (SS 7:10).  Time away with your Sweet, Sweet Savior....It is ALWAYS a GOOD IDEA!

A Puddle of Love

While I was in Africa last October, I started reading this book of "ancient prayers," which belonged to a friend and had been passed down from generation to generation.  The original copy was written in 1897. I fell in love with so many of the prayers, simply because they spoke to my heart with words that I found difficult to form as an offering up to God. I took pictures with my phone of several that I wanted to re-read, because I figured there was no way I'd EVER find that book. Yet we live in a remarkable age, where the technology makes possible so much. Wouldn't you know it, a simple search of Amazon and I found a copy...not an "original" print, but a bound photo duplicate of the original.

This week, as I began to summarize my study of what love looks like, and how it needs to be applied to me, I found this short prayer (see above picture) a fitting way to bring some closure. Please read, and possibly re-read several times. I especially loved this line: Melt me with Thy love, that I may be all love...

In my journal, as I wrote that line by hand, and prayed it back to The Lord, I wrote this: Indeed, Lord, melt me with your love until I am just a puddle of Jesus-love. Immediately this picture from recent days came to mind...little grandsons stomping through mud puddles, splashing dirty water all over their clothes, staining them permanently. What a picture...mud puddles are so desirable to little boys. I've never met a mud puddle that's not instantaneously befriended a little boy; and, my wee men even go out of their way to make the path of the puddle their path. Yep, the puddle may get stomped on, but I've never heard one complain. In fact, there seems to be great joy in the resulting splash. If puddles could giggle, I imagine they might with every single stomp. Certainly, the boys do.

Being a puddle of love might be a little risky; it might mean a little stomping over/through; but what fun it could be to splash a little Jesus-love, staining the recipient permanently. Yep, that's a thought! in spite of the risks, that leave me giggling on the inside...it could be pretty fun to be a puddle of Jesus love!

Freedom is Fragile...So Don't Be Surprised!

I'm so thankful for this country!  I may not always agree with the direction I see our government headed, but I am so appreciative of the freedoms I enjoy.  This past weekend, as it was for all Americans, was a time to truly enjoy our families and our freedom. How blessed I feel...

There was one little incident over the fourth. It was just a little thing, but it brought some big reflection. All my family came home. For this mama, there is no greater joy. I love it when they are under my roof, spread out all over the floors, the screen door slamming as they run in and out, and watching quantities of food get devoured. It is the stuff that family is made of. The night of the fifth (after the parade, the carnival, the arts and crafts fair, and the awesome Pagosa fireworks), we pulled out the SAM's Club version of sparklers and pop-its, gave the kids some ground rules, and let them celebrate again in front of the house. However, before the rules; before the boundaries were laid; the 12 grand-children that were present were already a little difficult to contain. Several had already opened their pop-its and before we knew it, shots were ringing across the ground. Military son, Adam, still a little fresh from the battlefield, might have retrieved his heart from the next county over. Somehow it all caught him off guard, and laughingly said, "Whoa...wait a minute, let's get some rules here, Uncle Adam's PTSD is kicking in..."

Adam was joking, of course. However, I wondered, as those little shots rang out, just what memories of his deployments came flooding into his mind. He has fought for freedom. As he eloquently told us in a poem he wrote long ago, about Iraq, he fought "there" to protect us "here." He understands the cost of freedom. Adam knows what war looks like, and how past and present converge to keep this country great...

Freedom is fragile, and I know that. There are no guarantees that the "there" won't happen "here".  So, I don't want to take it all for granted. I want to celebrate some facts of freedom, while we still have time. Facts like the following:
Free speech..
Free enterprise...
The ability to bear arms
To know I am innocent until declared guilty
I can worship as I please when I please
What I read and listen to are not filtered through a government controlled outlet
I can travel where I want, when I want, how I want
Food gets stocked and re-stocked regularly on grocery shelves
Gas is available (at a cost, of course) when my car is empty
Medical attention is available
I am unthreatened, live with security, and peace
My grand-children can be educated (all of them)

Of course, there is a "but" to follow... The apostle Peter warns us, with these words, and they seem to be appropriate, not just as individuals, but as a country:

Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that comes among you...as though something strange were happening to you (1 Peter 4:12)...

As I read that this morning, I'm reminded again, that yes, freedom is always fragile. We have no guarantees that the "there" won't happen "here."  Let's not be surprised. Let's not be caught off guard. Let's be prepared to be loving light, Jesus-followers, hope-givers, and gospel-speaking-truth-tellers. Let's learn to love like there's no tomorrow today. Let's find our security in Jesus and not in a government. Let's exercise the rights our freedom has earned us for the sake of our families! Let's celebrate what we have...and by all means, let freedom ring til our last breath!

A Jesus-Kind-of-Love Doesn't Fear Submission

Every day, I see this little sign in my house...

...and, this one hangs over my desk...

...then, there's this one upstairs...

...all, in-your-face-admonitions for us aliens and strangers, that in order to love others and to "keep our behavior excellent (1 Peter 2:12)," we'll need to "submit ourselves for the Lord's sake...(vs. 13)."  Oh, that word!  Yet, Jesus-Kind-of-Lovers are willing to follow this exhortation in order to "follow in His steps (vs. 21)."  So, in spite of whether we want to ban that word, submit, from the dictionary, or our personal vocabulary, or not, we are to step up to the plate and yield.  In fact, we can't truly love one another if there's not a death-to-self, and a submission One-to-the-Other. This truth is not just a little blip on the biblical screen from one chapter in the New Testament, either. We see this concept of submission sprinkled in and throughout the entire Bible.

In spite of it's biblical fact, the concept of submission causes no small amount of angst inside me.  Then Peter, as well, has the nerve to say this "...do what is right without being frightened by any fear." Do what is right: SUBMIT. Without being frightened by any fear: NO FEAR!

How can I lose the fear? Another of the at-Jesus'-right-hand apostles, John, gives us the answer.  This apostle, known as the Disciple of Love, said this, "Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another...There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love because he first loved us (1 John 4:11, 18, 19)."

Here is my reality: I fear losing myself in submission. I think that's the heart issue of all of us who find ourselves struggling with the word. If I submit, do I become something I am not? If I keep yielding, do I just become a puppet, a mere shadow of myself? Do I lose my personhood, or, possibly, disappear altogether? Am I simply a robotic Stepford woman (which, by the way, I have been accused of before)? You see, at the root, the major heart issue, of us who fear submission is a problem with worship. We have become very attached to our-self!

John's answer eliminates this fear, because when we, as believers, give ourselves to Jesus, we set self aside, in order to give the ONLY ONE worthy of worship a place in our hearts. There isn't room for me...and him. Any time, I'm filling my heart, of course there will be fear. I'm not a very trustworthy source when it comes to doing life.  However, when I gave my life to Jesus, I, by choice, hid myself, in the only Perfect Love who casts out fear. When I'm hidden in Jesus, under the shadow of His wings, no longer do I fear submission, because I have chosen a perfect place of protection. HOWEVER, here's the BIG DEAL of submission...When I chose to hide myself in Jesus, He gave me a new identity, a better identity, a Child-of-the-King identity. That new woman never needs to fear losing herself, because she becomes a better version of who she is.  I truly don't want any part of that old me; not any! Now, I know every once in a while, self still gets in the way, and my heart fills with fear. As soon as I recognize, fear's presence, that's an indicator I need to do a little throne replacement. Back to the altar, I go... So, if that means, I'm just a Stepford woman, then so be it! Though, I'd rather be seen as a Jesus-woman...

A Jesus-Kind-of-Love Does the Uncommon, Unordinary, Non-sensical

There’s nothing more precious, when in a foreign country, than one’s passport. I’ve done enough traveling to know this.  Not only do I carry my passport close to my heart  (in a little pouch) when I travel, so as to not lay it down, lose it, or have it stolen, but I carry extra copies of the first page of my passport with me at all times. My passport is the most reliable and valid source of identification I possess. Not only does it allow me to enter another country successfully; but, I can’t leave without it…and, could I, perchance, get out, it would be difficult to re-enter my home-country. My passport also gives me legal immunity when I travel, and protection from my government in case of any emergency. So, I hold tightly to that baby EvErY tRiP!

As I type this above paragraph, I’ll never forget being in Nairobi one evening with my husband, after a full day of shopping. We’d just had dinner, and were heading back to our car, when we heard a blood-curdling scream, and some shouts. A man was running as fast as his legs could carry him, another was chasing and yelling for help, while a woman stood frozen in place (except the escape of air from her lungs through her mouth at loud volume).  It was a classic case of what happens when tragedy hits: some freeze, some flee, some fight back. We were closest to the woman, and went directly to her aid. The young man fleeing had just stolen her bag (complete with all her travel documentation, money, and items purchased that day in the market). Her husband was trying to chase him down. However, the younger national knew the city streets and alleyways like the back of his hand, and was faster, so got away readily. By the time, hubby returned, the wife had melted into a puddle of tears, and little could be done to soothe her.  She was in a true predicament. Taking her to the local police would do no good. The best thing she could do at that point was contact her local embassy (she was British), and hope that they could rapidly re-produce her passport, so she’d be able to get back out of the country. Otherwise, they were stuck, until the first passport could be cancelled, and she could be re-issued a new one. Regardless, they were in for a miserable wait, while the whole process was sorted! By the time we left the couple at their hotel, I had determined I would never treat my passport casually – EVER! It really didn’t matter about the money, or the goods purchased; but losing a passport was nothing short of finding yourself on a stage in front of a large audience, naked.

All that, to say this – right in the middle of the book I finished a while back (& referenced multiple times), A Loving Life, there is a chapter titled “Love Burns Its Passport.”  As I read the story of Naomi, Ruth, and Boaz through the eyes of this author, and discover what a Jesus-Kind-of-Love looks like through the character of Ruth, it comes to my attention that Ruth did exactly that as she showed love to Naomi. When Ruth agreed to follow Naomi back to Israel, leaving her home country, and her family, in essence she "burned her passport."  She said, “Where you go, I will go…your people will be my people…where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried.”  Ruth made that commitment. What kind of love does that at all costs? It’s UNCOMMON! It's not ordinary! It makes no sense!

With my background regarding passports, and Peter’s admonition (see the following), I have wrestled with this concept that LOVE BURNS ITS PASSPORT:

“You are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light…Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul & keep your behavior excellent…(1 Peter 2:9, 11, 12a)”

Peter seems to be reminding us that our “passport” isn’t of this world; it’s from another country, a heavenly one. He seems to say, “Don’t lose your passport!” Not true, though, as I carefully examine in context. What he’s really telling me is that I’m to always remember my heavenly home for future reference, to help me persevere through trials, and to challenge my lifestyle in light of my calling right here where God has placed me…among my Naomi, or Naomis, in another country that’s not my home. However, I really am to burn my passport. I’m to live fully where I am, loving even those who are hard to love (Naomi wasn’t easy on Ruth; in fact, she often treated her like chopped liver…), and I’m to live out of a higher calling that reveals the Jesus-life & a Jesus-Kind-of-Love through me. Love is just that UNCOMMON. Love NEVER does the sensical-thing. Love is almost always extraordinary! No matter how one is treated, Love Commits. Love is all in!  Love never looks back. Love never wonders, "What if I had..." That’s the lesson of burning one’s passport.

Now, then, I won’t literally burn my passport…but spiritually speaking, I’m willing to be willing…

Love Sets the Prisoners Free!

These things I know:
1.  I have so much, in Christ, to be thankful for and to look forward to - PRAISE BE TO JESUS!
2.  God the Father, through Jesus, is writing my story (yours, too).
3.  That story isn't finished. This is worthy of another pause, and another praise proclamation!
4.  In the midst of the story, God wants to use us as instruments of redemption to a lost world.
5.  The best way to be instruments of His glory is to imitate His love (Good Samaritans).

I know these things, too:
1.  I don't love like Jesus.
2.  I want to...
3.  The best way to grow in that goal is to focus on the WORDS of The Lord, since they are a reflection of His heart.
4.  Time is short, only love lasts...so every moment needs to count; it requires intentional space-making.

What's next now that I have this head knowlege?  As I sit in a Barnes & Noble Starbucks, anonymous & "alone," I pick up where I left off in 1 Peter.  Look at these words, and if conviction doesn't grip your heart, as it has mine sitting here in this corner, there's something wrong:

So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander

1 Peter 2:1

Now that's a list.  Love can't fill a heart that's full of that "stuff."  In fact, we can't even be free to love, because that stuff traps us in an impenetrable prison cell! Here's the thing about this list. Everyone of those items are the result of anger and bitterness in the heart. Remember that entry where I mentioned how love "resets itself (May 26th)?" This is what happens when love doesn't reset; and, it's miserable and exhausting to live with Mr. Malice, Mrs. Deceit, and the triplets, Misses Hypocrisy, Envy and Slander in our hearts.

"Put away" is a mild translation. It really means, cast off (as despised), throw away, get rid of.  "Put away" sounds like something you would pack up and store for possible future use. Throw away is another story entirely! It means I bury it (just as the Lord does with the stuff he could hold against us, but doesn't) in the deepest ocean, never to retrieve it again.

Here's the problem. I think I've done that when people have hurt me in the past. I tell myself often that is exactly what I've done with those wounds. Truth is that scrambling around inside my heart are little bits and pieces of malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy, & all manners of slander. Truth is that I'm all about Team Peg, and getting others on my "side". Truth is that in ways I haven't realized, I've wanted to eliminate the problem people from my world, so I lock them up in a prison of my own, inside my heart, and then guard the prison cells. I've never eliminated them at all! The Lord showed me that picture, and whispered the words, "Set them free." Then, as if on cue, pictures of specific faces began popping in my mind (believe me, if you're reading this, you aren't one of those faces). The best way to set a prisoner free is to pray a blessing over them (with most of these folks forgiveness has already been asked, and offered; or, forgiveness has been sought, and there has been some semblance of relationship restored...yet, trust, and fear, are the main issues). So, I walked down the halls of my prison, opened the doors, threw away the key, and let each one walk out as I prayed a prayer of blessing over them. Oddly enough, if there was someone I forgot, it seemed the Lord either brought them to mind, or I crossed paths with them at the local grocery or hardware store. Yet, when I got to the end of the line, can you guess who was in the last prison cell? Oh yeah, me! I threw away that key, too, and even prayed a blessing over myself!

My life is much less stressful since giving up my "other job" as guard dog. My heart feels less burdened, and I sense more energy that I know the Lord would have me turn into proactive loving...I wonder if you're holding onto an extra job you need to eliminate? I highly recommend putting it away, casting it off, throwing it away, getting rid of it by burying it in the deepest part of the sea...!!!!