That's All She Wrote...(for now)

My watch said 1:26 A.M. when I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. I just HATE it when that happens! It's generally me wrestling with the Lord about something, and He just knows He won't have my full attention unless it's without distraction of any kind. I've learned. It's better to just get up, grab a journal, and start processing. It's not like I had a lot on my mind, but I did have this one thing that's been eating at me for a few days. It started with a devotional I read by Kyle Idleman on February 23. It was titled, Audience of One. It's worth the read. So, follow the link.

In case you don't read Audience of One, here's a quote from it: "I'm not anti-social-media. It can serve good and valuable purposes. But, we need to be careful. So much is about me. Me projecting my image to the world. Me sharing my opinions with the world. Me, me, me, me. And that's my problem. My problem is me!" 

Right there, that began the internal war. Then yesterday, as I was continuing my study on what a true Biblical Church looks like, I read these words from the Apostle Paul, written in a letter to a church of whom he could definitely not boast - the church at Corinth. His rebuke to them was less than subtle, and at one point, he even said these words, "I write this to shame you!" Ouch! I know one thing, the Apostle Paul would definitely not be invited to speak in many churches of 2016. Here was the passage which nailed me, and ultimately woke me up:

All things are permissible for me, but not all things are helpful. All things are permissible for me, but I will not be dominated (brought under the power of, controlled, mastered) by anything.

I Cor. 6:12

The enemy of our souls, unlike Paul, uses subtle tactics. He takes something good, yes, even helpful, and turns it into that which can often distract us from what is BEST; and BAM (!) just like that, I'm imprisoned. Entrapped in the me-problem to which Idleman refers. Imprisoned in what I think someone else thinks about me. Robbed of my joy. Stripped bare by the thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy, and left for dead in some wadi, like the man journeying on the road to Jericho from Jerusalem. It's a brutal place to be found, for sure!

Years ago, I promised the Lord, I wouldn't stand in front of any audience to speak, unless I knew I had His permission. At exactly 2:42 A.M., I sensed the Lord giving an instruction regarding this blog, for this season (and I don't know if it's for a short time, or for forever). Regardless, permission withdrawn. I am to continue seeking His face, fill the need for writing by journaling what He's teaching, learning and growing; but, it needs to be from that secret place of nearness to Him, and out of nothing that has to do with me, me, me, me.

So, for now, anyway: a huge thanks to those of you who've journeyed with me.