My Thoughts on Injustice and Evil

I have wrestled this week to find words.

Words that express the sadness my heart feels.

Words that adequately portray the righteous anger I feel for the evil intentions that exist in our world (not just our American corner, truly I mean, THE WORLD).

Intentions that bring divisiveness, hatred, and injustice to the forefront of our lives - Every! Single! One! of Us!

Each time I pick up a story from an online news outlet, I'm appalled by it all.

I've even found it hard to pray, because, while I know what I want, I don't really know how to explain it to the Lord.

Thankfully, The Lord God knows the depth and the full extent of my heart, and He hears what I want to say, when I can't find words to say it.

I do know this...

...What I want is for the Lord to bring healing to hard-hearts birthed out of past pain and tremendous hurts.

...What I want is for LOVE to prevail over hatred.

...What I want is for Jesus to give us all color-blind-eyes!
Please!!!!!?????!!!!!

I am still confident God is Love; and, since, words have eluded me, I've rested on a simple prayer of Asaph (Ps 74:22):

"Arise, O God, defend Your cause..."

I've been cheering on Asaph, who found his words before the Lord Almighty, when it comes to injustice of all varieties, on all sides...

"Have regard (pay attention) to Your covenant,
for the dark places of the land are full of the habitations of violence."

"Let not the downtrodden be turned back in shame;
let the poor and needy praise your name."

"Do not forget the clamor of your foes,
the uproar of those who rise against you, 
which goes up continually!"

As I read Asaph's cry to the Lord, I don't see God's answers in response.

The Lord seems silent from His sanctuary.

That's the thing...we tend to have this thought that not speaking out against something must mean we are for something.

The real story is that with God, nothing is something.

He has a greater cause in mind.

A cause, also born out of pain and hurt.

A cause that began years ago in a Garden and culminated on a Hill shaped like a skull.

A cause, of which, the goal is that no man should perish, but all come to know the healing power of LOVE crucified.

The fact is that one day, He will arise and defend His cause.

The fact is that one day, Love will prevail; justice will come with equity; and we will all be color-blind.

Until then, I cannot do much about the evil in the world, but I can determine how I will order my own private world.

"My brothers and sisters, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory." 

(James 2:1)

Here, then, are my marching orders from the Lord of Hosts.

So, my resolve is this:

Oh, my soul march on in strength (Judges 5:21).

How, Why, and When to Make Tear Soup

Over the last couple of days I've been making Tear Soup.
(if you haven't read this delightful, intuitive children's book, you should...you may want to make Tear Soup yourself one day...)

It takes all measures of pots for Tear Soup...the type of pot one needs depends on the heart-ache.
Tear Soup is perfect for all kinds of losses.

Grief comes in many sizes.
Mine is just a small pot.
It's not a more-than-I-think-I-can-bear pot.
It's just a small little hurting-heart pot.

I think I've figured out the why behind the need to pull out my Tear Soup recipe.
It springs back to missionary days.
There are just simply too many good-byes in a missionary's life.
Too many losses to count - relationally and otherwise.
So, when little losses spring up now, they trigger a very real, quick, and hard soul-pain.

We just ended some chaotic, fun-filled, wonderful and yes, sometimes frustrating moments (we are a normal family, after all), with most of our favorite people here at Camp Papa and Nana.
At our house, it's either feast or famine, since the majority of the family lives so far away.
Now, as with most things in life, the dynamics are changing in a big way.
New jobs.
New locations.
New life-situations.
Grand-treasures are growing up, getting involved in sports and other activities, doing life.
The reality of less and less together-time is becoming more and more evident.
We often heard ourselves thinking, and sometimes voicing aloud, that this precious time could be: "our last big hurrah for many years..."

So, the loss of together-times has lodged right here:
💔

Many things go in my Tear Soup.
Several cups of salty, leaky liquid (this perfect blend is found only springing up from one's heart through one's eyes).
A huge handful of patience.
A pinch of self-care.
Plenty of long walks.
Stir in heaping tablespoons of brisk house-cleaning.
A number of teaspoons of Jesus-music from Pandora.
Occasional snack-size bites of comfort food (yes, I indulge for a few days with an occasional "anti-depressant in a chocolate bar").

Palm-sized portions of journaling...and...
Add, great BIG, CHUNKY pieces of memories, especially photos.

But, the one ingredient I cannot do without, and it is a must for us all, is to toss in tasty morsels of the Bread of Life which form the chewy goodness of dumplings on top:

Jesus-Words.

Here are a few of the dumplings that fill and satisfy my achy soul:

Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up (Ps 68:19)!

Awesome is God from His sanctuary; the God of Israel - He is the one who gives power and strength to His people (Ps 68:35)!

Weeping tarries for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Ps 30:5b)!

The Lord Himself will hide me in the shelter of His wings in the day of my troubles; He will conceal me under the cover of His tent; He will lift me high upon a rock (Ps 27:5)!

Your steadfast love is before my eyes; and I walk in Your faithfulness (Ps 26:3)!

Those who look to the Lord God will be cheerful (their faces radiant)...(Ps 34:5)!

The Lord is especially near to the broken-hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Ps 34:18).

A bruised reed He will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench... (Is 42:3).

XXXX

So, why do I tell you this? Because making Tear Soup is a good thing; it's a healthy activity. On the heels of last week's blog, David the King showed us that sometimes doing HARD is done in community. Sharing a bowl of Tear Soup with the right people is a heart-healing balm to the soul. Adding the right ingredients is essential. Sometimes it takes a long time to simmer before it's ready. The one thing I do know, a canned product will NEVER suffice. Another thing I know is that everyone's ingredients will look a little different: that's what makes Tear Soup unique to each of us. But, at some time in our life, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. US. needs to make a pot. This is just to encourage you to do so.

O my soul, why be so gloomy and discouraged? Trust in God! I shall again praise him for his wondrous help; he will make me smile again, for he is my God (Ps 43:5, TLB)!

AMEN!

Writing for the Soul's Sake

King David was keen on the state of his soul.

He paid constant heed…

Stayed sharp and alert…

Knew and understood exactly where he stood in mind, in will, and in his emotions.

In fact, he talked to his soul as if conversing with a dear friend.

He’s often found in Scripture, especially in the poems he wrote, asking his soul questions.

One of my favorites is this one: “Why are you cast down, O my soul? Why in such despair?”

Then, after asking, he gives himself answers…

Sometimes, commands!

The more I study the songs he wrote…

The more I pay attention to the words of his poetry…

The more I realize I don’t do the same.

My soul and I aren’t very good friends.

We seldom talk;

And, I rarely ask questions; let alone give my heart commands!

Without research to back me up, I don’t think I’m alone here.

After all there isn’t much that isn’t “common to man.”

If one of us has issues in an area, probably it follows suit that many of us do, as well.

Yet, the one thing I glean from David’s song writing is that the man could talk himself through some pretty difficult situations.

King David had a way of bringing difficulty and peace together in one heart.

I love that he has left a legacy of showing me the how-it-is-done. 

The one commonality I see in many of David’s Psalms is found in the titles he sets before the actual writing.

It’s not unusual for him to say things like: For the choirmaster. A Miktam of David. Sometimes following those words are situations “when he fled from Saul in the cave.” Sometimes, there’s a byline, like this: “for instruction.”

As I was reading two or three of these types of psalms this week, it struck me, that David’s soul-talk, often turned to public singing. 

He wasn’t shy about his problems.

He wasn’t private about the drama and whirlwind of his soul’s oft condition.

As he talked his way out of the here-and-now-HARD to a place of there-and-then-PEACE, he wrote the whole process down for others to sing along with him.

It was as if he realized that there would be other here-and-now-HARD places…

And, when he found himself there again, he would need to hear these songs of remembrance. 

When his mind whirled with the drama,

or shut down in fear,

or began to doubt the goodness of God in the land of the living…

David knew he needed the very words he had once penned to walk him through the valley, once more.

So, David wrote songs for recall -

Because who knew what tomorrow might bring?

* More enemies?

* More chaos?

* More uncertainty?

* More betrayal?

* More storms?

*More potential unbelief?

He knew he would need to cling to the HOPE of the promises…

The visions of the there-and-then-to-come.

The words out of his past that had once comforted him to take him through the present.

Then he could rest with certainty in the Therefore:

My heart is steadfast O God.

My heart is steadfast.

I will sing and make melody.

XXXX

King David led the way for worship, not just for the Lord’s sake, but for his soul’s sake.

May I learn to do likewise.

When In A Land of Thistles and Skunk Cabbage

Yesterday, I received an invitation to join a Facebook community of prayer-warriors designed to encourage us to put on our spiritual armor and go to war on behalf of Central African Republic.

We don't hear much in our news about CAR.
Yet the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) is reeking havoc, terrorizing once peaceful communities.
A quick google search, and you will see some horrific images.

I have dear friends, whose hearts beat with passion for CAR.
One-time missionary's children, now turned missionary's.
Kids I grew to love when we served at Rift Valley Academy in Kenya.
Kids-now-adults with tender, concerned hearts, crying out for a people-in-desperate-need.

Here I sit in my cushy, comfortable world.
Of course, I can spend a few minutes several times a day, as the Lord leads, to travel to CAR in my heart, and do battle.

The first prayer request was followed by the picture of a couple.
They weren't old in numbers.
They were old-looking, though.
Aged by hardship...and tribulation...
Aged by living in a land filled with thistles and skunk cabbage (metaphorically speaking).

CAR is a beautiful country.
However, on closer inspection, the potential to get poked and pierced, again and again, is present...
...and that stinks!

This couple in the picture...
Over the past year:
Their son had been shot in both legs by LRA forces.
Then, they were forced to lay on the floor of their home as armed bandits raided their compound.
Then...their cookhouse was burned to the ground...
This destroyed all their food gathered from a year's worth of work...
Then...the church they had begun was burned...
Then...their home destroyed...
All their earthly belongings with it.
Now, this couple, along with 7000 (yes, you have read that correctly) are taking refuge in a nearby village hospital.
All this over the course of a year.

All this, under African skies
Crystal blue
Hand-brushed with a few white cirrus clouds.
The contrast of the peaceful, pure sight of heavens above
To the violence of earth below
Is...heart-wrenching.
It leaves me with the question: How much can the people of countries, like the CAR, endure?

That's when I turned to my place in God's Word.
David's Psalms.
Particularly 55 & 56.
I was reminded that often David found himself in the middle of chaos, uncertainty, and constant pursuit by his enemies.
He was surrounded by violence.
Yet, his words are so certain when it comes to his future:
"This I know...God is FOR me!"
"In God I trust; I shall not be afraid! What can man do to me?"
"This God, I trust...
           He keeps track of my aimless wanderings as a fugitive.
           He holds the tears I cry in a bottle, as if they are precious to Him.
           He writes down my prayers in a book.
           He answers those same prayers, faithfully.
           He sustains me over and over again."

THEREFORE, I CAST MY BURDEN ON THE LORD.

David flings his burdens at the Lord, hands them over to Him, and LEAVES THEM THERE, in BIG STRONG CAPABLE HANDS, hands that will also cover him, nurture him, and infuse him with the strength he needs to endure...

On behalf of CAR (and many others, closer to home), I lift my prayers to the Lord.

And, when the burdens I carry, and trials come to interrupt my cushy, comfortable world, I will remember David's words.

XXXXXXXX

If you're interested in a touching story from my friend who serves in CAR. Follow the link that is connected here: Gunfire, a Blind Widow, and a Bundle of Peanuts

There's a Witch in My Mouth

My mouth!

It is an age old problem.

I find myself often relating to Psalm 39, which is a prayer of David.

It seems he was determined to guard his mouth...
He didn't want to sin with his tongue.

There is a lot of WILL in that passage.
" I WILL guard my words."
"I WILL protect my mouth as if it had a muzzle on it."
"I WILL hold my peace."
"I WILL be mute."
"I WILL stay silent."

But, WILL is only a word...unless there are actions to follow.

The more David tried, the more his distress grew.
The hotter his heart became.
The more he mused to himself.
Then..................................................He spoke!
As soon as the words left his mouth, he regretted it.
You can tell this is so from his writings.
I appreciate his honesty.

My need-to-speak-distress often gets me in trouble, whether it has just rolled off the tongue, or out the fingers.
I could use David's muzzle.

Instead, I get his example...
...and, his thoughts on the matter.

David specifically uses the word "transgression."
Another word often translated from this Hebrew word is "rebellion."
In other words, David knew better.
I do, too.
He knew that there are times when he should be silent.
I know that, too.
Then, a big "but" gets in the way... "But, it just feels so good to release that pressure valve and let the tongue loose..."
That gets in my way, as well.
When I satisfy self, instead of doing what I know is right...that is rebellion.

As soon as that truth rumbled around in my brain, I remembered:

Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as bad as worshipping idols.

1 Samuel 15:23

Um.....it's high time to eliminate the witch from my mouth...

Shade for the Children

When Bay and I sensed God's call to leave Kenya (Oh! My! Goodness! 25 years ago! 1/4 century past, this month!), we had no clue what His next-steps were for us. None! As we prayed, we saw God-given confirmation of the decision to return stateside, but no grand plan was unveiled. The picture we saw in our mind's-eye was a Jordan-River-Kind-of-Crossing...we'd take one step, and the Lord would part the waters for the next step. It almost seemed like we would walk blindly into what would become the next new norm of ministry.

There was, however, one little hint.
It was a four word phrase that settled into my soul.
"Shade for the children."

Somehow, whatever that new-norm-of-ministry, whatever our next season, it would have something to do with those four words.
What it was, at the time, I had no clue!
As God unraveled His plans, I often found myself speechless.
FOCUS Ministries, for God's appointed time, was to be an umbrella that offered a safe space, a gathering place where students from middle school to high school would be given shelter...spiritual and, sometimes, physical...all the while offering those students a "Fresh Outlook Centering Upon the Savior."

While that season of ministry has passed, and we are now in another new-norm-of-ministry (we realized why that is when we had our church youth group over last weekend for capture the flag and a variety of other fun...we were EXHAUSTED by the end of the night), I was drawn back to that phrase: Shade for the Children.

The umbrella of shade I now hold covers my own circle of loves (at last count 24 adults and small treasures, but that number is still fluctuating upward). The umbrella of shade I now offer looks more like a prayer covering.

That is where I left off last week, and with this verse:

And, now, what does the Lord ask of you? He asks only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases Him, to love and serve Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And, to obey His commands...for your own good.

Deuteronomy 10:12-13

The Lord is renewing my passion for specific Scripture-centered prayer that covers each one of my Adults and my Grand-Treasures. A prayer leading them to all that is GOOD for their lives. A prayer that will hold their feet steadfast to faith in a world where Christianity is often misunderstood, and everything could change in a snap.

Here's what is written on the umbrella that will be their shade in days to come:

Fear of God.  

Lord, may ____________ (name) always be in AWE of You. Open ________' eyes to see glimpses of Your glory, and to recognize Your hand always at work behind the scenes. May _________' worship always begin with wonder as __________ comes to know you more intimately.

Walk Pleasing.  

May _____________(name) seek first Your will and plan for ___________ life. May ____________ remember that Your plans are to prosper and not to harm; that You have prepared ____________ for every good work; and that You will make __________'s way straight as ___________ trusts in You.

Love & Serve. 

May ____________ remember that at Your core, You are love...and Your love is perfect, driving out all fear. May _______ see Your love made manifest each and every day; and, as a result, serve You out of an overflowing heart. May _________ be Your hands and feet to those who need to know You, or need to be encouraged by You. May __________ speak often of your wondrous deeds, and tell the stories of Your power and might.

Obedience. 

In a world that pinches it's nose against anything that reeks of legalism, may ___________ remember that Your ways are higher, and Your commands perfect, often reviving the Spirit. May _________ desire to follow after your law of love more than much fine gold; and, may _____________ find your commandments sweet to the soul. May ___________ remember, abundant life is often found in the middle, between law and love. 

Above all, may ____________ find Hope in You; may _________ wait expectantly in remembrance of all You have done and are yet to do.

Amen.

Awaiting the Miraculous

Whenever I ask my nephew Andrew about work, he responds with his lazy drawl, "Well, Aunt Peg, I'm at least two days ahead of schedule!"

Wow! Two days! I can't imagine!

I must be my mother's daughter, because I tend to be, and I quote her, "A day late and a dollar short." However, with inflation, make that at least ten dollars short.

So goes the story of this particular blog...it's a day late.
For those of you who checked in yesterday, please accept my apologies.

XXXX

Recently, I've spent some significantly wonderful time with some of my adult children, and some of my grand-treasures. I've said it before, and I make no apologies saying it again - these people are my happy place. How I love each and every one of them.

Because of time spent with these enjoyable people, my mind is on them as I've been reading through the Old Testament.

Especially in the stories of the Kings.
Have you ever noticed how many of them started out well, walking closely with the Lord, standing strong in their faith, then began to falter...?
Bring that down to today, have you ever noticed how many (even, sigh, pastors!) start out well, walk closely, stand strong, then seem to follow suit...?
I've talked recently with many mom-friends who are hurting more over some of the doings of their adult children, far more than when their kiddos were small, or in those "rebellious teen years."
Those aren't my stories to tell.
Yet, as we all know, just because our kids make it to adult-hood, there are no guarantees...

It's reminded me of the importance to keep good prayer coverage.
I relied heavily on prayer when my children were young.
I'm so thankful for a local Mom's-In-Touch group, which allowed me to gather with like-minded mothers who met weekly just to pray specifically for one-hour for our kids and their schools.
Those prayers were passionate and intense.
Meaningful.
Answers were often miraculous!

However, it dawned on me this week, maybe, just perhaps, I had developed a temporary-prayer-mind-set.
Almost as if the intensity of my prayers need only be for a season.
If I could just get my children to adulthood...
Whew!
Then...their walks with Jesus would be smooth sailing to the end...

Don't get me wrong, I knew their lives wouldn't be easy.
I have always prayed for them, particularly about life situations...
Yet, it's almost as if where their Jesus-Stories were concerned, in this season of life I could breathe a little easier.
As if I'd taken for granted that their Jesus-Walk was guaranteed.
That's not true for any of us, and some of the stories I've heard and read about lately, have caused me to take pause and do some re-thinking, re-structuring, re-wiring of my prayer-priorities.

That's when the Lord dropped this little gold-nugget of a verse in my lap this week...right when I was pondering these things.

And, now, what does the Lord ask of you? He asks only that you fear the Lord your God, and live in a way that pleases Him, to love and serve Him with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And, to obey His commands...for your own good.

Deuteronomy 10:12-13

What a laser-beam prayer focus!
These words - this is what I desire for my children, and now my Grand-Treasures - because what I want more than anything is for them to finish strong in Christ Jesus. Because, what I want is exactly what the Lord wants: their own good!

So, this is as far as I've gotten this week.
Next week, I hope to generate a very specific prayer based on this passage that will be my prayer-outline, as I pray God's words back to Him regarding those that make up my happy place.
I'm returning to a more specific, intense season of prayer for my children....and grand-treasures....and I'm anticipating the miraculous.