Day 12....The Journey to #bebrave

If I were to title this blog post, I'd use this title (which is also good advice):

Make Friends with Your Fear

Truly, do this!

Fear has value.

I know it does!

I've seen fear work to my benefit.

Example.

Every time I stand up to speak, I still feel the effects of nervousness, anxiety, fear.

Every time!

Every time, I still ask all the what if questions:

• What if I'm not prepared enough?
• What if I forget what I came to say?
• What if they hate me? (Thank God, we are way past throwing rotten tomatoes at speakers we hate!)
• What if I pass out?
• What if I'm un-relatable?
• Worse yet, what if I'm a total failure? Not so much to man, but in what I'm offering the Lord? 

Every time, I have to look fear in the face and stare it down with the Lord's help, a sling of faith, and a stone of truth.

EVERY! SINGLE! TIME!

Dealing with fear has a kind of "pre-game-warm-up-feel" to it.

I remember the moment I realized it.

I was sitting in the midst of a timed 20-minute personal sanctuary in a corner, face to the wall (I must have looked like I'd been put in time-out, and in a sense, I had been).

There I was all alone, in a room full of other women, doing the exact same thing.

As I prayed, this thought popped into my head, as if it was the Lord speaking:

God to me:  OK! Let's do this. Let's get through this little ritual, so we can do what we came here to do.

"This little ritual?"

Really?

Yet, as I pondered it, I realized.

I do this.

I struggle.

I fret.

I let anxiety freeze my heart, as if Elsa (in Frozen 1) had just walked into the room "Let(ting) It Go!"

Then, I'm driven to solitude...and to HIM...

I go straight for His heart.

And He brings the manna my soul needs to feel sustained for the moment.

Something fresh.

A word.

A picture.

A verse.

A reminder.

And, in this pressing little ritual, comes new wine for what is in front of me.

A fresh anointing.

Clarity of mind.

And, I realize:

I will never be unafraid.

I will never be what or who I am not.

But I can be who I'm made to be...

Doing what I am being empowered to do;

Because He is holding my fearful heart...

Granting courage.

Yes. For that reason, I have made friends with fear.

It keeps me compassionate.

It keeps me sharp.

It keeps me dependent.

It refuels me.

It becomes for me a stone of remembrance.

I place it with other stones...

Ebenezer's from other times, when I have felt the same, and the Lord has come through...

Anointing afresh.

Doing what He does best.

All I have to do is show up.

Be available.

Hineni - Here I am, use me!

Make friends with your fear...it can do the same for you!

Your fear may look different than mine; but, all fear feels the same.

Use fear to lean more closely into your Lord; to deepen your faith; to exchange what is flooding your heart with what has filled His; and then let that flow out to your world.

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#bebrave....but only because you have gone through the pre-game, and, embraced a new friendship with fear!