As I've said, practicing righteousness is foreign to my nature. It's why I have to practice, and practice, and keep on practicing. Forgiving others is one of those exercises I will have to work on....a LOT! It just isn't easy. What's even more difficult is Jesus' instruction to not only forgive, but to pray for those who hurt us and spitefully use us. Not only pray, but speak words of blessing. I think I could pray as David sometimes did, "Lord, smite my enemies..." Yet, Jesus' teachings to his followers didn't include that kind of praying. He used the word "for" not "against." He was specific and used the word "bless." To bless: to speak words of blessing, goodness, and praise; to hope, wish, ask for something that would benefit or bless. When someone has spoken or acted spitefully toward me, the last thing I want to do is ask God to give them good things. Yet it's Jesus teaching; it's his training for followers who want to practice righteousness. Honestly, I've known this teaching for weeks. I've known I've needed to practice it. However, I've drug my feet (or rather, my fingers) on sitting down and sorting through it. I've delayed processing what this blog entry would look like. So much so, that here I sit, driving in a car, mid-afternoon, on the day of the morning I should have updated my blog, and I'm still at a loss.
No, that's not true. I'm not at a loss, not really. I know what I need to do. I need to practice living out of a forgiving heart, and I need to pray a blessing on one, in particular, who has spoken spitefully against me. If I say I've forgiven, then it's more than just words, it's acted out in a prayer that is "for" the one who has hurt me. So, here I go...
Sweet Jesus! You know my heart. You see deep inside and are very aware that the words I'm typing are not coming from a very engaged want-to-mentality. Yet, I want to be a follower who is quick to obedience. I want to be a follower who looks like my Savior, who on the cross begged for the Father to forgive those who put him there. I struggle to come up with words of blessing, but I hear a little inner voice telling me to just ask you to bless the one whose face is in my mind with the very things I'd want to be blessed with, so here's my stab at practicing this unconditional forgiveness.
I'm asking you to bless _________________ with your presence. Be so very real to _____________ that the communion between the two of you will be intimate and honest. Give _______________ the fulness of joy that comes when we are in your presence, and open your right hand and distribute pleasures forever more. May those pleasures bring a deep delight that spills over into generosity.
I'm asking you to bless _____________ with your provision. Not necessarily what _____________ wants, because I know that sometimes what we want is not what is best; so, I ask for what is needed. Bless with finances, with energy, with time, with material possessions, and with abundance of comfort.
Bless _______________ with wisdom, insight and clarity. Wisdom to make decisions that will take ___________ down a path that is good, pleasing, and a part of your perfect will.
Bless ____________ with peace that passes all understanding, and guard ___________'s heart. May _______________'s mind be filled with those things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and honorable and may praise be quick off ___________'s lips....more than anything give __________ a sense of true contentment.
I'd ask for a fruitful ministry, a growing theology, a personal sense of fulfillment, an accurate Christ-given identity, and a bright hope for every tomorrow. I'd ask for relationships that are meaningful and deep, excellent physical health, and enough fun and laughter to bring healing to any disruption of the heart.
Lord, this is a start. It's a beginning that has made me look into my heart and remember that I can love, pray, bless, and forgive, because you loved, prayed, blessed, and forgave me first. I want to look like you more than I want to harbor bitterness. So, with all the oomph I can muster, internally, I want to mean what I have just prayed and to keep on praying good things.
Amen.
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