The Wrong Side of Ambition

As I begin this journey of just saying "YES!" to the right things, and finding my place in this new space of life, I recognize there's a whole new world of defining words that I have often looked at wrongly.

An example.

I am a goal-setter.
One might look at the list of goals I concocted for 2017 and think, "Wow! That's ambitious."
...and, to be honest, I've always been a bit prideful of my ambition...my goal-setting.
"Look at that which I am striving after!"
I hold it up like a medal-earned, waiting for pats on the back.
It speaks to my organizational bent.

However, I am also a goal-stopper.
I start, I quit, I begin again...repeat the process...then stop altogether.
Which means, in reality, that ambition may not necessarily be something to give a whole-hearted, YES! to chasing after.
AND...truth is that leaves me feeling GUILTY!

When Solomon talked about "chasing after the wind," ambition may have been one of those things to which he was alluding.

This week, this word "ambition" is exactly what I've been pondering...
because in truth, it isn't propelling me forward,
perhaps, even backward.

As I've reflected on the semantics of the word, wouldn't you know I ran across a statement that seemed to do two things at once:
-confirm my course of thinking;
-convict my way of living.

Here's the statement (a coincidence? I think not; more of a God-incident):

Ambition

is a word that lacks any real ambition,

ambition is frozen desire...

the current of a vocational life immobilized,

and over-concretized, 

to set

unforgiving goals.

It's ok, if you need to re-read that thought.  Believe me, I've read and re-read it, now, oh, a few dozen times for it to sink deep within my dense brain.

What really hit me is the part about frozen desire.
Yikes!

Essentially, this author is saying to me "You are lost in the middle of your mission," and "you are not even aware of it."
Why? Because of ambition...and, unforgiving goal-setting.
I have been chasing after the wind.

So, this morning (and I agree, this is semantical, but bear with me), I am saying "no" to that kind of goal-setting.
The kind of futuristic-planning that doesn't take into consideration God's mission for me...
but, instead focuses on what seems-in-the-moment more about perfection, at least in my eyes.

James, the brother of Jesus, warned about this.

So did the sage of Proverbs.

Instead, I am re-visiting God's call on my life.
(...and, I encourage you to do the same...)
I will sit, once again, with the mission statement I wrote so very many years ago, now, and which the Lord has never seen fit to change as I've aged.
I will look deeply into how to lean into that calling to the fullest extent, and have a conversation throughout each day with the Lord on how to best fulfill that mission - WHOLE-HEARTEDLY!

I will say "yes!" to those things that resonate with God's call ---  especially, as I seek to respond to each day's to-do-list.
I will embrace failure and success.
I will learn and grow, sink and stand, and because of both, move forward into new arenas.
Will there be "ambition"? Of course!
Yet, that ambition will come as a part of God's desire, His will for me, as each minute and hour of every day plays itself out.
As it does, my "yes" will turn into "fulfillment" that is deeply satisfying.

AND... I pray that the author's final words (the author I quoted above) will be true of me:

"Perhaps the greatest legacy we can leave the world from our work is not ambition..."

but, 

for me, in my words,

the privilege of passing on a courageous desire to follow Jesus one step at a time, being fully surprised by his personally, awe-spiring plan.