How to Stop the Rumblings of the Mt. Vesuvius in My Heart. (A follow-up on anger)

I started thinking that I should have titled last Thursday's post: A Tale of Two Women....

However, the more I debated that title, I decided, that wasn't at all appropriate!

It really is the tale of "one woman."

Why?

The angry woman I called "she" could have been me...and I, "she."

We are easily one and the same.

Not in the moment my story took place, mind you (Scroll down further for the story, if you didn't read it on Thursday)...

...but at one time or another, I've been in her shoes.

Angry at someone for something.

I may have modified my behavior a little bit better...

Or not...

The fact is that we are all "she" at some time in our lives.

Out of no where comes an "oops," and a "where did that come from?"

As soon as I start to hear the rumblings of anger inside me, I am forewarned.

I know exactly where it is coming from...

Mount Vesuvius lives inside my heart.

If I don't deal with what's going on, a metaphorical Pompeii will feel the heat of my lava.

It will run down the streets with destructive force, leaving in its wake, a host of unsuspecting victims.

Like the gal who wanted an unhindered journey across town, I've lashed out at anonymous individuals...

And, sometimes (once again, I'm literally shrugging my shoulders and raising my eyebrows)....

...sometimes, the ones I tear into are those closest to me.

I definitely have a knack of hurting the ones I love the most.

You?

This I know:

The source of the problem is my heart.

Something has been piling up inside that I have not taken care of in a Biblical way.

Most often, that something is hurt.

The age-old-adage is certainly true:

"Hurt people hurt people."

That is the thing about anger.

It is often birthed in hurt, rejection, criticism, stuff just not going our way, pure-evil-meanness that's been done to us...

And, anger says:

"You owe me."

No doubt, the times I've erupted like Mount Vesuvius on Pompeii, my anger feels justifiable (and, at the moment, the release feels pretty "good")...

...until my wise-mind kicks in and I realize what I've done.

When I'm angry, I just want someone to pay.

But, here's what the Apostle Paul says in his letter to the Ephesians:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.

(4:31)

Get rid of anger! 

Um....how? 

How does one throw away an emotion?

Well, that's not the full meaning of the Greek word translated "get rid of." It means to remove, to carry off; to take away; or, to separate from oneself. 

Just a few weeks ago, I was having trouble sleeping, so rather than toss and turn, I got out of bed, and came into the family room to read for a while. 

I kept hearing this little scratchy noise, and, actually thought to myself it might be coming from the storage closet behind me...

That's when I looked away from my book, down to my lap, where a ninja-sized, gray mouse (OK, he was an itty-bitty, baby-sized mouse, but a mouse, nonetheless) was staring up at me. 

Our eyes didn't lock for long, believe me.

I screamed at the top of my lungs (and, at 3-ish in the morning, my dear husband heard not a peep), then jumped up, sending the little guy flying. 

He ran off...

I ran off...

And, I've seen no sign of him since.

That's what "getting rid of" means.

You distance yourself from the "mouse" of anger as quickly and as thoroughly as possible. 

Again, how? 

Paul goes on to explain:

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

(4:32)

Getting rid of anger and rage means we extend a scepter of kindness and compassion (this is where the mouse analogy breaks down).

We reach out to those who have wronged us.

And, then, the most important part follows the comma!

We make a choice to forgive.

As Jesus forgave us.

There's a little footnote in my Bible beside this word "forgive."

It sent me to Matthew 18...and a parable Jesus tells that explains what forgiveness means.

You'll find the whole story in verses 21-35.

It's a convicting story, believe me.

Forgiveness isn't just three little words we say: "I forgive you."

It is so! much! more!

The bottom line of the whole parable is that forgiveness is the decision to cancel a debt.

"Wherever there's a hurt," Pastor/Writer Andy Stanley says, "there's a theft. There's an imbalance. Somebody owes someone. In order to achieve justice, a transaction must take place that transfers something back to the victim. It could be an apology, a favor, money, or some other form of restitution, but the tension will remain until the debt is settled." 

Funny thing is that anger isn't easily appeased.

Nothing, the person who hurt us does, seems to quench the rumbling of the volcano entirely.

But one thing will, and Jesus exemplified it for us.

He forgave us of our debt.

And, we did nothing to deserve it.

We're to do the same.

Anger is only appeased when the debt is canceled.

I make the choice to no longer let the one who has made me angry control me any longer.

When I forgive, truly forgive, in the sense of canceling the debt owed me, I separate myself from the anger.

I throw it off...

Completely.

Entirely.

And, when I do, I find freedom....

That is the best part of forgiveness!

But...Jesus. 

Jesus got angry and lashed out at the Pharisees in the temple.

How does this fit?

That's for another time.