Just Give Me Jesus… (and a few pictures from Israel)

This morning our women’s retreat in Migdal, Israel ended. 

I’m always amazed at the bond the Lord gives between sisters in Christ.

One of our volunteer team members thanked the Lord this morning for connecting her with women she didn’t even know she needed and now can’t imagine her life without. 

She wrapped words around what we all felt and couldn’t express.

I tell you this to also say I truly felt the Lord’s anointing on the messages I shared. 

This is not as a pride thing, but because I believe I need to thank so many of you who follow this little blog. I know you have prayed. 

Many of you wrote notes just to say so.

Right now, every “thank you” I can think of, in every language I can speak it in, runs like ticker-tape through my mind, right beside mental video memories of you (gotta say, though, some of those video memories are pretty hilarious). 

*****

This will be a quick, and to the point, random thought this morning.

As I mentioned, I am grateful to the Lord for using me as His vessel, His mouthpiece, both in Romania and here.

(my friend, Beth, praying over me before speaking)

Because of the prayers of so many, I actually think I sensed a different level of anointing. 

In my quiet time this morning, I spent a significant amount of time expressing to the Lord my gratitude for this blessing, asking that He would use anything I said to resonate in the hearts of these precious ladies, thereby bringing glory to Himself.

I deeply mean that prayer.

As the Psalmist prays, 

“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name be the glory (Ps 115.1)…”

Always, I pray this before speaking.

Then, this morning, I picked up Oswald Chambers devotional (My Utmost for His Highest). This little book follows me wherever I go.

Sometimes the man is just downright convicting.

He simply did not mince words, nor did he worry about whether or not he stepped on toes in the process of bringing truth.

He did not tickle anyone’s ears.

(Excavation site if the synagogue in Magdala, where Mary of Magdala lived. This site was discovered as recently as 2009)

I quote him:

“Allow nothing of the old life to remain and embrace only simple, perfect trust in the Lord. This is trust that no longer wants God’s blessings, but only wants God Himself.”

Immediately, these questions popped into my head:

Have I been seeking the blessings or the BLESSER?

Have I been seeking the provision or the PROVIDER? 

What if the Lord didn’t come through for me in my speaking session the way He’d been over the last few weeks? 

Have I come to this point, where my faith and trust would remain unshaken, and would I still see the goodness of the Lord, even if He withdrew the blessing? 

In Exodus 32, the Israelites turned their back on the Lord God who brought them out of Egypt, out of bondage to slavery, and requested a new god…

So, they gathered their gold and threw it into the fire, and “out popped a cow,” according to Aaron. 

The Lord’s wrath burned against the Israelites, He decided to eliminate them all and begin again with Moses.

Of course, Moses implored God to turn His compassionate heart back towards His children, and, because of Moses’ prayer, He did.

Exodus 33, the Lord says to Moses (in my words), “Ok. I’ll send an angel with you into the Promised Land, but I’m angry enough that I will not go.” 

Again, Moses begs God not to remove His Presence. 

“If You don’t go,” he says, “then I don’t want to go any further.” 

I found myself challenged by Mr. Chambers and Moses.

I want the Creator more than the Creation.

I want the One who Blesses, more than the Blessing.

I want the Healer, more than the Healing…

…the Anointer, more than the Anointing.

But, the good news is the Lord can hardly separate who He is from what He does.

This morning I realized this truth from the life of Moses:

The blessings of God are meaningless without the presence of God. 

I simply, wholeheartedly, completely JUST WANT JESUS.