Call Me "Mara"...the Beginning Step into Losing Hope

Last week, a reference was made to the above passage from Proverbs.

All of us understand what it looks like to hope for something, to wait, and wait, and wait, and to be consistently disappointed. We can probably can give clear voice to what it means to have a "sick heart." Were we to explain, we might wrap the following words around the two by saying:

"I am deeply grieved, dispirited in soul, and uneasy of mind."

Over a lengthy period as Dean of Women at Arizona Christian University, I met with a young woman in her late twenties, who desperately wanted to be married. She felt as if she had prayed and prayed, asking the Lord for water to quench her thirst, and, He, instead, had handed her a candy bar, or a bag of potato chips, but not the very thing for which she longed. Consequently, her hope was waning. Her heart was ill with wanting...and, she had entered the dark woods of disappointment. 

My young friend began to journey down a very dangerous path.

It was a most difficult task to help her find her way out of the darkness when she was so myopic in her sights.

I find it interesting, but not surprising, that the first mention of hope in my Bible concordance is found in the book of Ruth with a negative slant to its etymology.  Here is the back story:

Because of a famine in the land of Israel, Elimelech took his wife, Naomi, and their two sons, to the nearby country of Moab (this action was, in itself, questionable, as it would appear he was not trusting the Lord to provide). 

  

Soon after the move, Elimelech died.

Naomi's two boys both married Moabite women (which was in disobedience to the Lord's principles; good Israelite men should not take foreign women as wives).

Even though things were not easy and there was no longer a famine back home, the boys stayed, and "settled" another ten years in Moab... 

Before they had any children, both sons died.

Naomi is now without a provider, in a foreign land, and is stripped of everything.

She determines all she can do is to return to Israel, and her one last hope is that she will be remembered by her family and friends, and, thus, cared for...

Naomi gives her daughters-in-law an option, but encourages them to both go home to their people, and remarry.  These are her words to them:

"Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” 

(Ruth 1:12-13)

Only, daughter-in-love, Ruth (a gift of God's grace that redeems this whole story), makes the selfless sacrifice to leave her family, her home, her people, and her culture to stay with Naomi and care for her. She gives a beautiful and compelling speech. 

When Naomi returns to Israel, there is no small amount of excitement in the village, where she is greeted by name.

Yet, Naomi, now opines, declaring:

“Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full, and the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?” 

(Ruth 1:20-21)

Naomi's words are filled with hopelessness.

1.  She blames God. She ignores any ownership to her problems.

2.  She sees no light at the end of the tunnel. 

3.  She speaks out against the Lord who has "brought her calamity." God is no longer good, or loving, or kind...the hand of God has emptied her cup. He is no longer Sovereign, and certainly not faithful.

4.  She finds nothing (even though I see quite a list) for which to give thanks.

What Naomi says is NOT TRUE, except for one thing, she has, indeed, become bitter (Mara). Color her yellowish-brown ("the gall of bitterness is yellow"); and, discover her picture that graces the dictionary as the definition of a sick heart. 

Naomi is not at all unlike the young woman I met with at ACU. Her story presents several lessons that we can take to our own hearts, and apply:

Bad things happen. Life does not always go according to our plans; and, I have to wonder if this little family had truly sought the Lord on their every day life decisions? It's easier to cling to hope when we know that we know that we have heard our God clearly when life is thrown a curve ball.

Bad experiences don't discredit, or dampen, the impeccable character of our God. His ways, His plans, are definitely higher than ours...and regardless, out of His great love, those plans are for our benefit (even when we can't see it).

We may, or may not, have to examine our path of action.......because we may have to take some ownership for the spot where we find ourselves.  Look closely at the one who stands behind the finger  of blame. 

What about our expectations? What about our dreams? Have we put our hope in those things, instead of the Lord God? Where do we place our trust? Both the Psalmist, and the writer of Proverbs, warn us that there are wrong places to put our hope...

When we place our trust in a "vain hope," we may have, without even realizing it, turned our eyes to idolatry. OUCH! I've been convicted all week as I've mulled through these passages.

Can we see God's hand around us, guiding, providing, caring, even in spite of the hard-stuff? He's there...keeping a gratitude list has been HUGE in helping me see Him, when sometimes the difficulties obscure and darken the LIGHT of the SON.

A word of warning. 

The first step into the dark woods, or down the dark road of disappointment, often starts with bitterness.

The first step away, and down a different, brighter path, often begins with gratitude.

This is an encouragement, for me and for you, to take corrective measures before we move forward down the wrong road...