Words of Comfort & Eliminating Shame

“Comfort, oh comfort my people,” says your God.  “Speak kindly to Jerusalem; and call out to her, that her hardship has ended, that her iniquity has been removed…”

Isaiah 40:1-2

By all accounts, and at first glance, this verse appears to be quite similar to the verse shared in last week’s blog.  To speak words of comfort is to speak a good word, is it not?  Indeed.  Yet, something else struck me as I studied this verse, and it left me with another category that NEEDS TO BE DECLARED, and often!

A good word from the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18b).  I love that thought.  I especially love it in light of so many who have struggled with shame over past sin.  Shame is a horrible, crippling thing to live with, and it ought not to be.  Yet, how often do we, the church in general, not walk with sinners right out of their shame-filled-journeys into healing?

That’s the question this verse raised for me this week.  So often, when I meet with women of all ages, we almost always get to issues of the heart.  What I hear most often is just how difficult it is to get beyond a painful past.  What I hear from so many is that even in church, even among Christian people, who love them (and they know they are loved), there is still a sense of judgment.  What I hear is that so many feel this barrier distancing them from ever being really close, because past moral failure stands between them like a pink elephant in the room that no one wants to discuss. 

However, look again at the verse above.  Jerusalem, God’s beloved people, has been stuck in sin.  Yet God calls the prophet to call out and proclaim that her iniquity has been satisfied!  By doing so, his beloved is comforted.  The barrier sin has created is demolished, and Jerusalem is free!  Free to serve.  Free to live.  Free to be loved fully, and free to love.  The truth about God’s request is that it’s IMPORTANT – that’s why he says the word “comfort” twice.  When God wants to stress something that is BIG, he repeats himself.  Not only is it important to proclaim the iniquity has been paid for, but it’s important how it’s done.  We can only comfort repentant sinners with a kind word.

The Hebrew word for kind is different than the word for good.  Here is what the Lord is really saying:  Put to ease and strengthen the heart of my sinful child.  Use kind words, words that speak to the feelings of the inner man, and influence the mind toward belief. 

I am so challenged, once again, with my speech.  I am challenged to not be afraid to speak of the very thing that we think we ought to avoid, but bring it to light, because it is part of all our stories.  It is important to comfort one another, the sinner, by speaking words of truth that ease the heart, and strengthen faith.  Let us all journey side-by-side, until shame is a thing of the past.  This is an important job, and should be the joy, of every church.

The Need for a Good Word

Anxiety in the heart of a man weighs it down, but a good word makes it glad.

Proverbs 12:25

The last couple of weeks have had me researching Scriptures on the tongue and what comes out of the mouth.  I’ve spent a considerable amount of time examining my own heart, since “out of the heart, the mouth speaks.”  I’ve not liked what I’ve seen in there, and recognize that my heart needs frequent cleansing and refilling.  I have also become aware that the real cure for all of this is standing in the shadow of the cross.  When I do, I remain humble, and that is a very safe position for keeping my heart under control, and subsequently my tongue. 

However, through this process, I ran across the above verse.  It, too, has been a source of conviction, but also one of encouragement for me.  For the last few years, anxiety has been a curse I have lived with (just saying this causes no small amount of anxiety in me; after all, as a Christian, aren’t I supposed to have “it all together?”).  There’s no rhyme or reason to when it will strike.  It’ll rear it’s ugly head at the most inopportune moments.  When the Spirit of God says that anxiety weighs the heart down, I get it.  I know what that feels like.  There are no more words that need to be said.  “Weighed down” covers the sensation just fine. 

I don’t like anxiety.  I’d like to “fix it.”  I’ve often felt like the Apostle Paul who prayed for his thorn in the flesh to go away.  Three times he prayed (I, on the other hand, have lost count) and the Lord said to him, “Paul, this is a prayer I won’t answer as you might like.  I want MY GRACE to be sufficient.  I want MY STRENGTH to govern YOUR WEAKNESS.”  Anxiety has become my thorn.  I’ve seen God’s strength cover me.  I’ve seen His grace be more than sufficient.  I’ve walked in victory in spite of it.  Yet, to be perfectly honest, I dislike it; and, I have often wondered about a cure.  Believe me, I know forwards and backwards what Philippians 4 says.  I understand Jesus’ command to not be anxious regarding tomorrow.  I can apply those Scriptures, and I can get a temporary “fix.”  Sometimes that “fix” lasts for days, and maybe even weeks.  Here’s another one:  a good word. 

So, what’s a good word?  Any advice, counsel, message, utterance or saying that is “cheerful, fine, gracious, joyful, kind, loving, pleasant, agreeable, excellent, valuable, understanding, or beneficial” (taken from Spiros Zodhaiates, Key Word Study Bible – New American Standard).  In Isaiah, the prophet says this:

The Lord God has given me the tongue of disciples, that I may know how to sustain the weary one with a word (50:4).

Here’s where the conviction hit:  How often do I speak a good word to others?  How many, like me, may be in need, yet go about life as if everything is “fine, just fine?”  Perhaps the Lord has allowed this condition as a reminder to me that not only to I need to guard what comes out, I need to be intentional about what does, and that must be a GOOD WORD!  A good word that sustains the weary, and makes glad an anxious heart.

At the same time, I’m encouraged.  Encouraged that my God will do as He has promised further on in that Isaiah passage:

He (God) awakens me morning by morning; He awakens my ear to listen…(v.4)

…and when I do, he never fails to give me a good word.  Not many folks speak “good words” these days.  Not many of us leave one another with speech that brings hope and encouragement.  Ah, but the Lord never, never fails.  His mercies are new EVERY DAY!  How I need his good words!

This Current Unpleasantness

Recently, Bay and I spent a few days in Charleston, SC.  During our stay, we took a little sight-seeing tour through downtown.  Of all the facts our tour guide spouted, one sticks out in my mind.  She mentioned that in the South, because people tend to care about manners and gentility, they find it difficult to spit out words that are disagreeable. So, they will come up with other words.  A cemetery, for example, is a "sculpture garden;" and, while we might use terminology for the Civil War, such as "The War Between the States," they still might say, "The War (said, "Waaaaaaa-wa") of Northern Aggression (the way it is said is so much more than what is said, it just rolls off the tongue so sweetly)." At the time of the war, however, in Charleston, it was known as "This Current Unpleasantness."  There is a "current unpleasantness" in my own life, which I am working through.  It, too, is a "War Between the States," as such.  Let me explain.

After reading the Matthew passage (see last week), I skipped over to the book of James.  The man had quite a lot to say about the tongue, as well.  I'll just share a portion of what he has to say.  In my bible the title to this particular portion of Scripture is:  The Tongue is a Fire.  Here's what he says:

For we all stumble in may ways.  If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well.  Now, if we put the bits into the horses' mouth so that they may obey us, we direct their entire body as well.  Behold, the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder, wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.  So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things.  Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!  And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue sis set among our members as that which defiles us, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. (3:2-6)

It's that last little phrase that struck me as I studied this passage: set on fire by hell.  That's not very comforting.  So, let's start with what is comforting.  I'm not perfect; I'm being perfected.  Thank the Lord!  It's great to know he understands my failures are "normal," although he is working to make me abnormal (peculiar to this world, in fact). It's comforting to know that fires can be controlled. Sometimes, in fact, we fight fire with fire.  This is important to where we are headed this morning.

However, back to the heart, the tongue, and hell.  With no slap-in-the-face intended for the South (I happen to LOVE the South), my heart is often led by the Southern Hemisphere (AKA "hell").  When the South wins, it takes over my mouth, and leaves quite a destructive wake in its path.  This is what I'm trying to fight. I'm attempting to battle the fire that rages, as a result of my heart, as it spills out through my words.

So, while I was reading this passage, I remembered another time that fire took over the tongue.  This time, though, it wasn't a fire from hell, but from heaven.  Look back at Acts 2.  This is so encouraging!!!!!!!!!
(Setting - Day of Pentecost).

And suddenly there came from heaven a noise like a violent, rushing wind, and it filled the whole house where they were sitting.  And there appeared to them tongues as of fire distributing themselves, and they rested on each one of them.  And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit was giving them ability to speak out (2-4).  

Fire from heaven.  We fight fire with fire.  To change our mouths, we offer our hearts to the Spirit of God, so heaven can fill them.  In this setting, the disciples were doing just what they were commanded when Jesus ascended into heaven.  Wait.  In Jerusalem.  Devote yourselves to prayer.  The Spirit will come.  Come he did.  And he filled their mouths with heavenly words, because their hearts were expectant and ready for the filling of the Spirit.

The battle for control of the mouth is a North/South war.  It needs to be a War of Northern Aggression in order to end "This Current Unpleasantness" within me.  The war is won by submitting, as the disciples did, waiting, devoting myself to prayer, and expectantly allowing the Spirit to take over.  What I'm excited about, and believing God for right now, is this:  beginning to speak as the Spirit gives me the ability to speak out.  Not as I want to speak out, but as He directs.  Only then. Oh, may it be so……soon (and, of course, as often as my mouth opens...)!

What's REALLY in MY Heart?

I know someone who frequently quotes an old Scottish Proverb that goes something like this:  When the heart is full, the tongue will speak.  I reckon my heart is fairly full; the question is, of what? I'm not sure I want to know the answer, although it's fairly obvious.

I can't begin to count the times my mouth has gotten me into trouble.  Rarely is saying too little my issue, and were that my issue, I'd have readily obtained a title of "virtuous woman."  After all, another familiar quote says that silence is a virtue.  Nope, never fit that category, either.

As I sat reflecting this past week on an upcoming New Year, I always ask a question about what needs to be changed in my life, or putting it in a positive way, "What is something that I can give to Jesus as a gift in this New Year?" When I prayerfully brought that question to him, my mind starting wandering back to all the verbal faux pas that a still haunt me. Truthfully, I can go all the way back to high school and come up with some great failures. However, I don't need to go back that far…I'm still working on the ones more recent that still pop up in my mind causing me no small amount of embarrassment, and, yes, shame. No matter how many times I ask forgiveness, of the individual I've hurt, or of the Lord, those words come back to bother me time and again.

Once a word flies, the damage has been done.  Indeed, it is a sword that is quick to pierce a soul, and the damage is slow to heal.  I wish I could say those words were just a "slip of the tongue" (whoever came up with that lovely excuse, I wonder?).  I wish I could say, "I just don't know where that came from!" I wish I could find an easy explanation, justification, or even a provocation, or excuse.  Typically, I can't.  This truth is probably the hardest pill for me to swallow, because once it flies, instead of edifies, I am no longer a safe place.  I am no longer trustworthy.  Those things are harder to regain than they are to lose.  So, EVERY TIME, I misuse the gift of words, I am nauseous, sad, and, yes, angry at myself (sometimes for years).  I'd like to learn the secret to holding my tongue prisoner.  I wish I could plant a little soldier as a guard with a bayonet on my tongue to poke me every time I am about to say something I shouldn't.  I fear, though, I'd have so many holes, saliva would constantly be dribbling down my chin.

Well, my friend's Scottish Proverb is entirely biblical.  This morning, I read Matthew 12:33-37. No mistake, I read it this morning, while all this is fresh on my mind.

"Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit.  How can you, being evil, speak what is good? For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.  The good man out of his good treasure brings forth what is good and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth what is evil.  And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment.  For by your words you shall be justified, and by your words you shall be condemned."

Ouch! Words reveal our character.  Our hearts all contain a treasure chest either filled personal treasure, or a Pandora's box filled with poisonous asps.  Out of the box spills what is in our hearts.  When the mouth speaks, I better listen!  I will never see what's in my heart more clearly than at that moment.  What's said is reflective of the inner condition.  There's work to be done. It begins on my knees!

Picture from one of my little treasures to represent our talk about this verse (refreshing fruit, or bitter lemons?).  The fruit that's produced is what justifies or condemns.

I Have a New Internship

It's a New Year dawning.  That could be the name of a movie, or a great first line of a song.  It isn't.  It's just a fact.  In two days time, we turn the pages on another year.  I always get reflective this time of year - looking back, asking questions, formulating responses, and desiring to make the new year a better year.  2013 brought a lot of changes for me.  With a slight tweak in ministry positions, I sought the Lord as to what this new season of life meant.  As I began to dig into the first book of the New Testament, I sensed the Lord taking me back to the basics, a sort of personal one-to-one discipleship.  He challenged me to "practice righteousness" in a "Follow-Jesus" sort of way.  I've been reminded that following is easy in the sense that you just do what the one in front does; you just step in his foot-prints and let him lead.  I've also been given some specific instructions for growing deeper as I've followed.  These things became part of the "practice," the "training in righteousness."  That's when things started to get complicated.  I've found the instructions seem simple enough, but the actual doing, the actual following isn't as easy as it may appear.  Those things have stretched me, caused me to explore the motives of my heart, and I have not really liked what I've seen.  If you haven't been keeping up, here are some of the practices I've been working on exploring:

Generous giving

Fervent praying

Frequent forgiving

Regular fasting, &

Overcoming anxiety

Now, as I sit on the brink of 2014, I've once again picked up my Bible to where I left off, and began in Matthew10.  Jesus summons his disciples, blesses them with authority, and gives them some last-minute instructions. This is the beginning of their do-it-on-your-own-while-I'm-still-around phase of an internship in following.  This seems to be where he wants me in 2014.  I'm to go beyond the practice (but, believe me, I'm still practicing, because I don't have it down to perfection - thank goodness, he who began a work in me will do the perfecting!).  Now, I'm participating in an internship in discipleship.  This just happens to be personal training for his final instructions as Jesus leaves planet earth:  Go and make disciples (Matthew 28:18-20).

Before he pats me on the back and shoves me out the door (I've said it before, I much prefer FOLLOWING; I don't WANT to lead), he gives a few final instructions.  I'm listening carefully, because I don't want to do this wrong.  Here they are (you'll need to read Matthew 10 to fill in the blanks).

1)  Go to the church first...  You are to prepare them to be ready for the kingdom to come... Some of the things you'll need to address:  Healing (physical, emotional, spiritual), raising the dead (believe me, some churches need a little new life), cleansing (Jesus says the leper, but I'm reading into that sinner), and casting out evil spirits.

2) Continue giving generously, praying fervently, forgiving frequently, and fasting regularly…

3) Travel is required, so you'll need to live simply and pack lightly (I'm learning this one)…

4) No need to worry about what you'll say:  I'll speak through you (thank you, Jesus!)…

Now, I know what you may be thinking:  Aren't you already doing this…sort of?  I am.  Sort of.  I think the challenge for me is to step it up, to be more intentional, to be more specific.  Here's the verse that leapt off the page:

What I (Jesus) tell you (Peg) in the darkness (the experiences of life), speak into the light (share your story); and what you hear me whisper in your ear, proclaim on the housetops.  

Matthew 10:27

In other words, wherever I am, talk MY Jesus-story.  Allow others to see the hero of my life…when they do, maybe they'll be attracted to the hero.  Maybe they will want to be a Jesus-follower, too.  That's the point of my life. That's the reason of my existence.  That's how I best reflect his glory off the canvas of my life.  It's how you do, too.  In spite of the difficulties.  Maybe, because of the difficulties, the dark-moments, the hard times, and yes, even the times of joy when the Lord seems most present, we take advantage of sharing our Jesus-stories.  We show off our hero, the one who rode into our lives first in the belly of a humble girl, and found new life in a manger.  The one who took the very nature of a servant, setting aside his right to be God, so that we might have a way to victory.  That's the Jesus who changes our lives every day.  That's the one I love to talk about!  You?

*************

Oh…PS.  Our internship comes with a warning (we need to be prepared).  EXPECT PERSECUTION.  With follower-ship status, we are awarded our own cross.  I think that's why Jesus closes out his instructions on what it looks like to be a true follower with these words:

Come - all who are heavy laden (weary and worn out) and you will find rest for your souls…

We will wear out in the following if we don't come often, and come consistently.  Only then, ONLY THEN, will the

Yoke be easy and the burden light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Joseph and I Share Similar Fears

Joseph's side of the Christmas story begins in Matthew 1:19 with these words:

And Joseph (Mary's) husband, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her, desired to put her away secretly.

I've thought a lot about Joseph over the last few weeks.  I've wondered about the kind of man he was; what he thought; how he felt.  Somehow it helps me to dive under the words that are written on a page and really get to the humanness of our Bible characters.  Sometimes the Christmas story becomes so familiar we don't truly KNOW it, if you know what I mean.  Sometimes, in its familiarity, the people become god-like, and rise off the pages of Scripture as beyond-human.  Not so.  As I've reflected on Joseph, he and I share some similarities.  

So, if we look just at the words above that introduce us to the man, we could easily get hung up on one word:  righteous.  Joseph was righteous.  Yet, Romans 3:23 tells us this:  

…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Even Joseph.  The Bible can't contradict itself.  So, instead of thinking of Joseph as this morally pure, blameless individual, we have to recognize that he, like me, like you, was a sinner.  So, how do we put two, somewhat contradictory, passages together?  Here's my take…

Joseph had a heart-with-a-right-want (read that verse again…he didn't want to shame Mary; he desired to do the right thing).  Joseph sincerely wanted to do right.  So much so that he lived to be a good law-abider (just like most Jewish men of his day).  Joseph's compassionate heart (again, read into that verse above) wrestled with his right-doing.  He often asked these questions of himself:  What is the right thing to do?  What should I do that would best fulfill God's laws?  How can I live, therefore, and be who I am, and still be a good Jewish leader?  People noticed this about Joseph, and when they gave a description of his character, they called him righteous.  

When it came to Mary's (cough, cough) "condition," he struggled.  Compassion often can't stand alongside law.  Sometimes, they are like trying to mix together oil and water.  Joseph was being advised by the church leaders of his community.  According to LAW, Joseph had a right to condemn Mary to death by stoning (she'd, obviously, been unfaithful).  At the least, he had every right to divorce her in a shaming scandal and put her in her place.  Those would be the RIGHT options.  The LAW options.  As we now know, Joseph was a law-abider.  He wrestled, however, with those options.  In between the lines, we read of his love for Mary, his deep compassion for his wife.  He had to have wondered:  What if she was telling the truth?  Having observed her character over the years of their promised arrangement, he knew what kind of a humble woman she truly was.  Her story seemed to contradict her character.  All of a sudden, she was either a scandalous liar, a crazy woman, or there was truth to her story.  He had to have gone back in his mind to try and remember everything he knew about the Law and the Prophets regarding the coming Messiah.  Did the words of Isaiah start ringing in his mind as he wrestled?  A virgin shall give birth (Mary claimed to still be a virgin)…and shall bear a Son, God-with-us (yes, she claimed to be carrying God's child, a son).  

I'm thinking Joseph nearly went out of his mind trying to figure out what was RIGHT.  He wanted to please the Jewish leaders, who knew the law far better than he, but he didn't want to turn Mary into an outcast, either.  I ask the same kinds of questions Joseph did. But (!), when I'm trying to make a decision, I am so afraid of making the WRONG choice, I almost always let someone else make the choice for me.  That's where I think Joseph figured the best option was the secret-option. Do the quiet thing.  That option would fulfill the law and be as easy on Mary, as possible.  Yet, hanging over his head, weighing on him, was the ever present, "what if." He feared standing before God one day having made the wrong choice.  For the record, I sometimes do the same…  Bottom line, Joseph and I, both live in fear of not being righteous, not doing the right thing, and then having to stand before God to give an account.

Insert the angel during a restless night of sleep in the middle of a dream.  First thing the angel did was to assure Joseph about his fears.  To do so, he assured Joseph about the child.  Two names.  Two promises.  Two prophecies fulfilled.  Here's what Joseph heard:  Joseph, you can never do right on your own. You can never be good enough. You will always be a sinner and you need a Savior.  Good won't get you to heaven.  Law-abiding, no matter how hard you try, will never be enough.  This boy is your righteousness.  He is your Savior.  So, you will call him, Jesus.  Not only that, remember the words of the prophet, Isaiah, Jesus has to come to earth through a virgin. It's the only way that God-the-Son can come in flesh. It's part of the process of God-with-you always.  Not only will you be saved from sin to true righteousness, but you will have victory over future sin as God dwells in you. It has always been the case, Joseph, God-with-you eliminates all fears!  Remember other words of Isaiah:

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely, I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My right hand (41:10)!

Those brief words were enough for Joseph.  Those brief words should be enough for me.  The promises of Christmas are wrapped in two names: Jesus Emmanuel.  My Savior With Me.  Hallelujah - what a Savior! He delivers us from ALL OUR FEARS!

I Dropped Baby Jesus

Last week, I was asked to speak at a women's Christmas event.  It was meant to be an outreach to women in the community who might come to celebrate the season in a lovely location, whereas they might not make it through the doors of church.  I've done this event before, and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I always love sharing about Jesus.

HoWeVeR! This night, I struggled.  I shared everything I went to share.  My message was OK.  My take-away was clear.  The mechanics were just a mess.  I went with an object lesson.  It worked well at home.  I envisioned a podium.  I planned on a head-set or a lapel mic.  I figured my hands would be free.  The object lesson was the first part of the message.  Everything, from that moment on, hinged on the smoothness (sort of) and the transition of that example. There was no podium, not even a place for my Bible (I had to put everything on the floor and bend up and down getting my things).  The mic was a hand-held, and having only one hand available was a HUGE problem for this object lesson, which included unwrapping a package.  To say the object lesson did not work well is an understatement, during which I probably lost 90% of the audience.  The worst part of that whole moment came when I dropped baby Jesus (he was in the box I unwrapped).  Yep!  I dropped him.  I heard a few snickers in the audience (that helped bring back a few of the 90% lost), and I felt like someone had hit me in the chest with a 2 x 4. So, I bungled my way through the rest of the painful 20 minutes.  Again, I said everything I went to say.  We talked about the promises of Christmas.  We discussed how every promise of Christmas was wrapped up in the Names of Jesus.  One little baby with a multitude of names.  A baby so mysterious and majestic that one name could not, would not, do.  We looked at two names in particular.  Two names that calmed Joseph's fears and led him to take Mary as his wife, and to raise Jesus as his own.  We talked about how those two names, Jesus and Immanuel, were promises enough for me.  I had the privilege of sharing my story, which began at Christmas when a messenger from God (an angel?) explained my need of a Savior, and how that Savior would be God-with-me forever, if I just let him consume my heart, and gave him my all.  What a joyous moment of life-change for me! I became a Saul-turned-Paul, only no one gave me a new name.  Unquestionably and without doubt, that story (those promises) changed me FoReVeR.  HoWeVeR!  I had dropped Jesus.  I just couldn't get past that moment…and it colored the whole evening.

On Tuesday (following Friday night's mess), I laughingly (that was good therapy) told a couple of friends over lunch how I had dropped Jesus.  At that moment, the Lord gave me a new look at that Christmas message, an inspired look.  Don't we all drop Jesus?  Sometimes we drop him in the middle of the Christmas season (or before it actually begins).  Jesus gets dropped in the midst of preparations and shopping, crowds and present-wrapping, food-making and parties, decorations and hubbub, and hoopla!  Sometimes we actually manage to make it through the holiday season focusing on that babe, reflecting on his mission, and responding to it with heart-felt desire, then as soon as the nativity scenes and the decorations are boxed up for another year, we drop him.  Sometimes the Christ-child is totally left out of the "X"mas season, and the holiness of Christmas simply becomes "Happy Holidays"…  Yes, don't we all "drop Jesus," at one time or another…????????

That was what I really went to say to those ladies, but didn't quite get it out at that time in the middle of my embarrassment of an object-lesson-gone-awry.  I can say it now.  We all tend to drop Jesus (fortunately he didn't, and doesn't, break).  This Christmas, let's make it a point to pick him up and allow his birth and his purpose on earth to meaningfully impact us for all eternity…

P.S.  Secretly (or not so secretly) and sincerely, I want to be an angel like the one who came to me almost 40 Christmases ago.  (What a messenger! What a gift I was given!) Maybe I can be if I can hold onto Jesus without dropping him!